How Your Attitude Hurts Your Happiness and You May Not Know It
by LaRue Eppler
first published on Mar 17, 2008
I recently watched a video clip of an Oprah show. Oprah had a guest by the name of Randy Pause. He appeared to be in his forties, a successful man by worldly terms, with three young sons. Randy has terminal prostate cancer. The doctors tell him that he only has a few months to live. In fact, his attitude about dying was so inspiring that Oprah invited him to her show. She showed a most amazing clip of him giving his last speech to a class at Cambridge University.
If you haven’t seen it you’ll want to!
“Our brick walls are there to show us how much we want our dream.”
That is what Randy told the class. I reflected upon that statement for some time. When I have had a dream in my heart—something I truly, truly longed for– the brick walls, road blocks, and obstacles only reinforced the longing and determination. In fact, it made me salivate with desire. You too?
How does attitude hurt your happiness, and what does that have to do with a dream in your heart?
Randy, despite knowing that he was dying soon, had the most remarkable attitude! He decided to live while he was alive, rather than to fret away the days and months that he has left. Isn’t it easy to look at what we desire to be, do, or have, and then be unhappy or miserable because it hasn’t happened, yet?
The attitude we have today affects the actions that we take tomorrow. One lousy, unquestioned attitude can destroy a dream.
If you notice yourself having ‘an attitude’, as my mother called it when I was a teenager, it may be time to find a quiet room, get still, and meditate. Don’t freak out on me here! Meditation is simply noticing the feelings rising within you and the thoughts marching across the stage of your mind.
If you think you don’t have time or don’t know how to meditate, meditate on and watch those thoughts —notice how those thoughts make you feel.
Time in quiet is just as important as busyness. Taking the time to sit and observe yourself can, in the long run, save you precious time, energy, and sometimes even money. Negative attitudes, what I call low frequency thoughts, can wash your dream away like a slow eroding shoreline, and you won’t even know it! A bad attitude can destroy your dreams and your happiness.
Spiritual teachers tell us that things happen easily when you flow with Higher Will. It’s hard to flow with Higher Will when an attitude is running rampant in your life.
When I get hyper-busy, my attitude stinks. Sometimes, it’s not until things have gotten hard and nothing is flowing before I realize I need an attitude adjustment, pronto! To my credit, I am so much better at noticing my attitude early on. Rarely do I have to slam myself straight into the wall in order to get my attention.
When I notice a bad attitude, I also notice that my feeling of well-being is no where to be found. That’s an abrupt reminder that it is time to get quiet and observe my thoughts and feelings. I head off to my cozy bed, find a comfortable position, and nestle in like a bird in its little nest. Once comfortable, I close my eyes, take a few breaths in and out, and soon begin to feel the relief that comes with each, wonderful exhale. I let go!
A few breaths into it, peace and ease flow to the surface of my awareness again. I feel my inner body. Eckhart Tolle talks about the inner body in ‘The Power of Now’ and ‘A New Earth.’ My destructive attitude melts in the light of my higher consciousness, happiness returns, and I am back.
Want to melt away a bad attitude? It’s easy! Press the pause button on life for a few minutes. Sit and observe your thoughts that you are currently thinking. Do it until you begin to notice that YOU are the one doing the noticing. When this happens you have separated from the thought and you’re free and in the moment! An added bonus is that once the busy thoughts have subsided, the Whisper is so very easy to hear!
